


If I Can't Have You

by shipsandglitter



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, Grizz is smitten and Sam knows it, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Literature nerd!Grizz, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nothing heavy though, Teen and up bc they make out a lil, The parallel universe stuff never happened in this btw, They deserve all the fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 06:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19145728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipsandglitter/pseuds/shipsandglitter
Summary: "The number of times he had slipped into a daydream where he finally gathered the confidence to ask Sam out was ridiculous in its own right, but really, how could it be his fault when Sam was constantly walking around looking like that."~A.k.a Grizz is very much into Greek tragedies and Sam Eliot.





	If I Can't Have You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, 'The Society' has officially taken over my life so here we are, my first grizz/sam fic!!

Grizz had somewhat of a committed relationship with Greek tragedies, and Wikipedia pages about Greek tragedies, and books about Greek tragedies. He also had somewhat of a committed relationship with Sam Eliot’s Instagram profile, given how much he brought it up on his phone, but  _that_  was a matter for another time.

“The Trojan Women,” he announced louder than intended as he set the play down in front of Gordie. 

The boy smiled, watching with curious eyes as Grizz took the seat opposite him. “I’m starting to think you have a thing for tragedies, Grizz. Sure you’re okay?” 

“They have the best lines,” he explained, smiling back at Gordie as he began flicking through. “If it's not a tragedy then the characters don’t have any time to get all deep and philosophical.”

“But of course. Grizz the random reciter of meaningful play lines.”

“I take my job very seriously,” Grizz nodded, smile widening when Gordie began to laugh.

It was a miserable Thursday afternoon, with rain splattering against the windows and pattering against the roof. The large yellow lamps hanging above their head provided the library with warmth, particularly in comparison to the dull atmosphere outside. 

“So what have you found out about it?” asked Gordie, leaning forward in his seat. 

“Well - it was written during the Peloponnesian War,” he responded, eyes flicking over some of his annotations. “The Athenians were getting ready to dispatch a massive expeditionary force to attack Sicily. Very nice of them.” 

Gordie moved around the table then, settling down in the seat beside Grizz, and their discussion about the historical context alone ended up lasting about 40 minutes. Wars were complicated in Grizz’ defence.

It was when the bell chimed, alerting them to other students, that Grizz allowed his eyes to wander. It was Sam who walked in, alongside his friend Becca. She was signing animatedly to him, whilst he looked over with a smile.

Grizz didn’t lose his composure often, but seeing Sam that day, hair disarrayed from the beanie he was wearing, smile bright enough to light up a whole damn  _room_ , suddenly it felt like the world was collapsing around him.

Sam’s eyes found his across the room as they always did, and he offered Grizz a playful smile before returning his attention to Becca again. Grizz let out a scarily lovesick-sounding sigh.

Gordie chose that moment to clear his throat, eyebrows shooting up knowingly as he looked over at Grizz. He hesitated for a moment, clearly trying to be careful with his words.

“You know...I’m not sure if you’ve seen, but there’s this movie called Love, Simon that seems pretty cool. It’s not a Greek tragedy but we could still watch it sometime if you wanted.”

Grizz snorted. The subtlety was astounding.

“Um,” he paused, trying to bite back a smile. Gordie was only trying to be supportive, after all. “Yeah, sure. That’d be nice. Saturday at my place?” 

“Sounds like a plan! I’ll bring the popcorn.” 

Grizz glanced back at Sam again, before sighing again and standing up from his chair. “I should probably get back to the team now, I’m sorry. Another session next Monday at lunch?” he asked, carefully closing the books that were scattered across the table and placing them in his bag. 

“Sure,” said Gordie, following suit. He looked over at Sam too this time, smiling wide. “He’s cute,” he added, before turning around and heading towards the exit. 

Grizz was left standing there for a moment, completely dumbfounded. He heard a giggle in the corner of the room, and he looked over to find Becca covering her mouth with her hand, Sam laughingly shushing her. He tried to ignore the pang of hurt in his chest as he slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way over to the exit. 

 _Who was he kidding,_  he thought miserably as he walked, splashing through grey puddles.  _She was beautiful - everything Sam could’ve ever wanted._

 

_~_

 

“Now - what are we gonna do, guys?” Clark asked fiercely, fist raised in the air.  

Grizz rolled his eyes and disappeared as subtly as he could into the background, preferring not to get involved with all the shouting. 

“We’re gonna smash it!” came the responding chorus from the football team, Luke’s and Jason’s voices somewhere within the mix. 

He looked out at the grandstands, shaded against the beaming sunlight that had broken up their week of rain. He was looking for someone in particular - he always was - but that didn’t mean he was going to admit it to himself. Butterflies flooded his stomach when a pair of blue eyes met his own, and suddenly he felt about twelve years old all over again. 

Sam offered him another wave (they seemed to be getting more frequent and the idea of that terrified Grizz as much as it excited him), taking his hat off his head and holding it out in front of him. Grizz squinted for a moment as he read it, then a wide smile appeared on his face.

It had _‘Go sports!!_ ’ printed on it, and Grizz suddenly felt so much  _fondness_  for this boy that it was slightly overwhelming. 

Despite never having exchanged anything beyond ‘hi,’ he had somehow managed to develop a full-blown, all-consuming crush on Sam Eliot and honestly, it was kind of ruining his life. Once, he was so caught up in Sam smiling at him that he walked into a pole for starters. The number of times he had slipped into a daydream where he finally gathered the confidence to ask Sam out was ridiculous in its own right, but really, how could it be his fault when Sam was constantly walking around looking like  _that_.

Suddenly there was clicking in front of his face, and he tuned back into the real world to find Clark hovering in front of him. “Dude, the game’s starting! How the fuck are you day-dreaming now?” 

Grizz immediately sprung to his feet with a hurried “sorry”, shaking his limbs out as he followed Clark onto the field. 

The sound of a loud, shrieking whistle soon filled the air and all the boys around him were off. Grizz couldn’t help but sneak glances over at Sam, and when he wasn’t doing that the boy somehow managed to stay on his mind regardless. His movements all felt contrived, and his limbs weren’t cooperating, and yeah okay - who the fuck gave Sam the right? 

There was insistent sunlight beaming down on him, and constant shouts ringing out in the air, and all Grizz could think about is what it would be like to feel Sam’s lips pressed against his. 

He hated his brain sometimes. 

It wasn’t a spectacular fail in the end - they won - but it was uncomfortably close for the team’s liking, and the general consensus was that Grizz had messed up big time. 

“Dude, where the fuck was your mind that whole game?!” Clark exclaimed, waving a hand in front of his face. 

“Fuck off, Clark. I was just having a bad day,”  Grizz muttered as he shimmied into a pair of jeans.

“I’ve never seen you  _that_  off your game though,” Luke chimed in, walking over to the boy and placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “Sure you’re okay, bud?” 

Grizz hesitated for a moment, gaze wondering past Luke’s shoulder, before letting out a resigned sigh. “There’s just this person I like that I haven’t really been able to get out of my head.”

Jason, who had been changing off to the side, froze almost instantly at the words. Clark had a huge grin painted across his face, while Luke seemed shocked more than anything. 

Grizz didn’t blame them. He was rarely one to talk about romantic feelings no matter how much the boys prodded him, always shutting down any mention of the topic. But now that Sam had come into the picture and Grizz was reconsidering his whole stance on not coming out until College... 

“Who’s the girl that’s finally managed to melt your heart of ice then, man?” Clark asked him, looking overly pleased by the confession. 

“I’m not telling you guys,” Grizz said simply, shrugging as he pulled a shirt over his head.

Luke’s mouth fell open. “What?! Why?” 

“You won’t know her,” he insisted, pushing past Clark to grab his gym bag. 

“At least a description?” Jason begged, hands clasped together in front of him.

Grizz looked over at the trio, gaze hard, before rolling his eyes and slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Ginger hair. Blue eyes. Wears a lot of sweaters. Into books. That’s all you’re getting,” he told them, before leaving the change rooms. 

Jason looked after him, shaking his head. “So he’s into a nerd then?”

“Don’t knock nerds,” said Luke with a shrug as he pulled on his own shirt. 

“Is there even a ginger girl in our year?” Clark asked.

Grizz just shook his head as he walked away, trying hard to bite back a smile. 

 

~

 

Grizz had never been the scandalous kind, but looking across the room at Sam he came to the conclusion he’d happily sneak around with that boy forever if it meant being with him. That is, if that’s what Sam wanted of course, which he didn’t. The rumours around Sam being gay were just that. Rumours. And Grizz couldn’t bring himself to believe that Sam  _didn’t_  like Becca with the way he looked at her.

That’s why it was a little startling for Grizz to be pulled into a random janitor’s closet by  _Sam_  of all people. Given the context, it hadn’t been totally weird. A practise intruder alarm had sounded across the school while Grizz was out collecting something from his locker. Perfect timing, if you ask him. Before he knew it, the classroom doors were being locked and the blinds were being drawn, leaving him standing there like an idiot until Sam pulled him aside.

The good news was that he wasn’t going to be told off by a teacher for being out and about. The bad news was that he was currently stood in the world’s smallest janitor’s closet, so close to Sam that he could barely breathe.

Grizz blindly reached for the light switch, and after a few failed attempts the lamp hanging above their heads flickered on. 

He swallowed thickly. “Hey.” 

Sam smiled apologetically. “Hey. Sorry for being so sudden,” he responded, signing along.

“It’s okay,” he smiled back, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

Grizz wracked his brain for any ASL he knew, but frustratingly enough he came up blank. Well - except for...

 _Bullshit,_ he signed, which had Sam bringing a hand up to his mouth to stifle his laughter.

“It’s the only sign I know,” he explained, feeling a blush rising on his cheeks as he spoke. 

Sam nodded, smile fond as he leaned back against the wall. Grizz cleared his throat, hands nervously clasped together in front of him. 

“I um...I liked your hat! From the game.” 

“Oh, thank you. I worked very hard on it,” said Sam with a nod, voice playful.

Grizz actually fucking  _giggled_  at that, and for a second he was convinced that he had actually somehow managed to become twelve again. 

The alarm was still blaring around them, and for a few moments, Grizz had almost forgotten about it. He bit his lip as he returned his gaze to Sam, obnoxious little butterflies filling his stomach. 

Sam smiled faintly. “I see you looking at me a lot,” he spoke, hands signing along. 

Grizz, without seeming dramatic, wanted the ground to swallow him up whole so he’d never have to deal with this conversation. This conversation with a cute boy who had definitely noticed all of his creepy staring.

“Sorry,” he managed, blushing like an idiot all over again. “It's uh...something I do a lot. Zone out.” 

Sam raised an amused eyebrow. “So it’s just zoning out?” 

Grizz bit his lip and nodded, heart racing now.

“That’s a shame. I thought maybe you liked me.” 

And suddenly Grizz was considering the idea of this being a dream because  _what the actual fuck_  did Sam just say? His heart couldn’t take this. 

“I - wait - um, do you...do you like me?” he spluttered out, embarrassed beyond belief. 

Sam just smiled teasingly and shrugged, seeming about ten times more confident than Grizz felt.

“I don’t know. Do you like me?” 

Grizz hesitated for a moment, looking anywhere but Sam as he contemplated on how the hell he should respond. 

“...Yeah,” he managed, voice higher than he would’ve liked, but then he remembered that he was an idiot and the boy couldn’t hear him anyway.

Sam gave him a beaming smile.

 _I...like...you...too,_  he signed, movements slow. Grizz got the message, and he honestly had to refrain from pinching himself.

There they were - standing under a dangling yellow light amongst cleaning supplies in a closet that was criminally small, looking at one another as though waiting for something more. Waiting for one of them to break. 

Sam swallowed, hints of nervousness shining through as he took a step forward, and that was enough for him to be right in Grizz’ space. Grizz let out a shaky exhale, bringing his hands up to rest on the boy’s waist. He had no idea whatsoever what he was doing, but he at least wanted to  _look_  as though he did.

Sam took this as a cue, smiling slightly as he shuffled forward, allowing Grizz’s arms to wrap fully around his waist, before looping his arms loosely around Grizz’s neck.

Grizz was vaguely aware in the back of his mind that the alarm had stopped by now, but that seemed so distant he ended up ignoring it.

Sam inched closer, on his tippy toes now, and Grizz’ heart was officially soaring. He closed the final gap between them both, brushing his lips against Sam experimentally before drawing back again. Sam chased him, pulling him in and firmly connecting their lips. 

Yeah. Okay. Grizz could  _definitely_  confirm the real thing was far better than imagining it, because  _holy shit._ Sam’s lips were soft and slightly chapped against his own, and his hands were feather-light against his skin, brushing up his arms now ( _when had they left his neck?_ ) Why he had wasted so much time pining when kissing felt  _this_  good was absolutely beyond him.

From that point on he relied almost entirely on instinct, which must’ve explained why he was suddenly lifting Sam up and setting him down on the wooden crate behind them, never disconnecting their lips. Sam pulled away for a moment, eyes alight with mischief as he gave Grizz a playful smile, before pulling the boy back in, hands travelling up to his hair now and tugging ever so slightly. The action pulled a small (embarrassing) gasp from Grizz, and he felt Sam’s smile widen.

It was when Grizz heard shouting outside that he quickly pulled away. Sam seemed to get the message because he hopped down from the wooden crate, watching in amusement as Grizz frantically attempting to straighten his shirt. The door to the closet was thrown open and Luke was stood there, Clark and Jason right behind him. 

Grizz swallowed, running a hand through his hair. “Uh. Hey guys.” 

“We’ve been looking all over for you dude!” exclaimed Clark. “What are you doing in here?” 

“The classrooms were locked,” explained Grizz as he stepped out into the corridor, Sam following close behind. “It seemed like the next best place.” 

Luke was still looking between him and Sam, eyes narrowed sceptically. Grizz saw his eyes travel from Sam’s hair, to his face, to his sweater to -  _oh fuck he’s worked it out._

It didn’t take a genius, Grizz supposed. He and Sam were still panting a bit, shirts and hair in disarray, glances at one another awkward. That, on top of his blatant description of Sam, really wasn’t helping him in the slightest.

“Let's go, guys,” Luke said suddenly. 

Clark and Jason gave him incredulous looks. “Why?” 

“Let’s just fucking go, okay? Teacher’s probably waiting for us anyway,” he repeated, dragging them both with him down the corridor. He glanced over his shoulder when he reached the corner, giving Grizz a wink. Grizz smiled gratefully and gave him a wave in return. 

“That was fun,” said Sam, smiling over at the boy. 

Grizz bit back a smile of his own and nodded, giddiness setting in over what had happened. 

“We should uh...do it again sometime? Maybe not at school, though...unless you want to.” 

Sam’s smile took a mischievous edge. He leaned over to press a quick kiss to Grizz’s cheek. “I don’t mind school, but maybe we could see each other over the weekend? My parents aren’t home on Sunday.”

Grizz smiled. “It’s a date.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was okay!! Kudos/comments are appreciated if you liked it <3


End file.
